Valentine's Day Quotes for Friends

Valentine's Day Quotes for Friends

Love does not dominate; it cultivates ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Love is friendship, friendship is love. If love fails, friendship should remain. For friendship is the foundation of love ~ Author Unknown

Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life ~ Leo Buscaglia

Love is temporary, but friends are forever ~ Kelly Wheeler

Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle ~ Marianne Williamson

My love, you know you are my best friend. You know that I'd do anything for you, and my love, let nothing come between us. My love for you is strong and true ~ Sarah McLachlan

Some people care too much, I think it's called love ~ Winnie the Pooh

The cure for all ills and wrongs, the cares, the sorrows and the crimes of humanity, all lie in the one word 'love.' It is the divine vitality that everywhere produces and restores life ~ Lydia Maria Child

There is an important difference between love and friendship. While the former delights in extremes and opposites, the latter demands equality ~ Francoise D'Aubegne Maintenon

Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one ~ Friedrich Halm

We loved with a love that is more than love ~ Edgar Allan Poe, Annabel Lee

We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it ~ John Lennon

Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves ~ Bible Proverbs

Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing ~ Elie Wiesel

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship -- never ~ Charles Caleb Colton

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes ~ Buddha

If you judge people, you have no time to love them ~ Mother Teresa

Valentine's Day is primarily for lovers. But, you can also celebrate Valentine's Day with your friends. Strengthen the bond of friendship with a simple act of love. Let your friend know how much you enjoy her companionship with these Valentine's Day quotes for friends. readmore Funny Valentine's Day Quotes

Source: http://quotations.about.com

Funny Valentine's Day Quotes

Funny Valentine's Day Quotes

Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day ~ Jay Leno

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots ~ Hoosier Farmer

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to ~ Rita Rudner

Never go to bed mad -- stay up and fight ~ Phyllis Diller

No matter how love sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along ~ Joyce Brothers

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry ~ Oscar Wilde

The Eskimos have fifty two words for snow because it is so special to them; there ought to be as many for love ~ Margaret Atwood

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead ~ Ann Landers

Three things can't be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love ~ Yiddish Proverb

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia ~ H. L. Mencken

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked ~ Erich Segal

Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is ~ Anonymous

Women are cursed, and men are the proof ~ Rosanne Barr

Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself ~ Mae West

A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting ~     Helen Rowland

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife ~ Groucho Marx

Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day ~ Mickey Rooney

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life ~ Rita Rudner

I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV ~ Tracy Smith

It is impossible to love and be wise ~ Francis Bacon

It’s funny how we set qualifications to the right person to love, when we know at the back of our heads the person whom we truly love will always be an exception ~ Ally McBeal

Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion ~ Mirabeau

Love is a grave mental disease ~ Plato

Lovers who share a sense of humor, stay together longer. Humor is the key to an evergreen relationship. If you want to win your lover's heart, use humor. With a dash of humor and love, make your day extra special with these funny Valentine's Day quotes, and readmore Valentines Day 2012 Sayings and Quotes

Source: http://quotations.about.com

Funny New Year Quotes

Funny New Year Quotes

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right ~ Oprah Winfrey

New Year's Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual ~ Mark Twain

Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that ~ Judith Crist

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits ~ Anonymous

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions ~ Joey Adams

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me ~ Anais Nin

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account ~ Oscar Wilde

I'm a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser ~ Robert Paul

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions ~ Mark Twain

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go ~ Brooks Atkinson

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to ~ Bill Vaughan

New Year's Day is every man's birthday ~ Charles Lamb

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other ~ Anonymous

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining ~ Leonard Bernstein

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to ~ P. J. O'Rourke

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution ~ Jay Leno

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time ~ James Agate

Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle ~ Eric Zorn

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves ~ Bill Vaughan

Funny New Year Quotes

Humorous and Funny Love Quotes

Humorous and Funny Love Quotes

When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires.
-- Anonymous

Men only have two faults....What they do, and what they say!
-- Anonymous

You can't buy love on eBay.
-- Anonymous

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
-- Bette Midler

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
-- Brendan Francis

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
-- Cathy Carlyle

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher

Men aren't necessities, they're luxuries.
-- Cher

By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying -
Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying.
-- Dorothy Parker

I'm always looking for meaningful one night stands.
-- Dudley Moore

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
-- Erma Bombeck

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
-- Fran Lebowitz

It is impossible to love and be wise.
-- Francis Bacon

Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.
-- Fulton J. Sheen

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.
-- George Carlin

Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.
-- Glenn Beck

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
-- Helen Rowland

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes.
There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.
-- Henry Kissinger

When we got married I told my wife "If you leave me, I'm going with you.
And she never did.
-- James Fineous McBride

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
-- Jean Kerr

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
-- Joan Crawford

It's been so long since I made love,
I can't even remember who gets tied up.
-- Joan Rivers

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
-- Joan Rivers

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll

No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.
-- Joyce Brothers

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
-- Katharine Hepburn

True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one.
-- La Rochefoucauld

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.
-- Lily Tomlin

The only people who make love all the time are liars.
-- Louis Jordan

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.
-- Natalie Wood

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.
-- Oscar Wilde

Love is a grave mental disease.
-- Plato

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.
-- Sandra J. Dykes

All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.
-- Shelley Winters

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
-- Steve Martin

A love without indiscretion is no lover at all.
-- Thomas Hardy

Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions.
-- Tommy Dewar

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
-- W. Somerset Maugham

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
-- Woody Allen

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
-- Woody Allen

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
-- Woody Allen

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like.
-- Adrienne Gusoff

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.
-- Albert Einstein

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
-- Albert Einstein

Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
-- Anonymous

You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
-- Anonymous

The four most important words in any marriage..."I'll do the dishes."
-- Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
-- Anonymous

Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks and sneakers behind along the way.
-- Anonymous

Source: http://www.romancestuck.com/quotes/humorous-quotes.htm">Humorous and Funny Love Quotes

Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent ? That’s why I never take baths.

A man in the house is worth two in the street.

A genius is a man who can rewrap a new shirt and not have any pins left over.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his chest.

Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.

Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.

I only like two kinds of men, domestic and foreign.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

Man has will, but woman has her way.

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Women don’t make fools of men most of them are the “do-it-yourself” types.

Men are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time…they’re gone.

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.

Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he’s in love with her.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they’re both on fire – they’re exactly alike.

All modern men are descended from a worm-like creature, but it shows more on some people.

There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base.

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. “Women marry men with the hope they will change. “And they are both disappointed.”

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.

Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.

Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’.

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.

Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles

If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ – they leave skid marks.

There are three stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus; he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work or prison.

Short Funny Quotes

Short Funny Quotes

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life !

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

I’m knot a blonde! I’m knot, I’m knot, I’m knot!

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

I’ve got problem for your solution…

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”

Your school GPA is inversely proportionate to your girlfriend’s looks and vise versa.

Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have film.

Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.

All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ?

I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.

It’s not cheating unless you get caught.

Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

There is a light at the end of every tunnel….just pray it’s not a train!.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Funny Wedding Quotes and Sayings

Funny Wedding Quotes and Sayings

She knows all about me and loves me just the same.

May she share everything with her husband, including the housework.

Happy marriages begin when we marry the one we love, and they blossom when we love the one we married.

It took great courage to ask a beautiful young woman to marry me. Believe me, it is easier to play the whole Petrushka on the piano.

An anniversary says, "Think of the dreams you have weathered together. They are intimate accomplishments.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.

Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.

Love is not singular except in syllable.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

In all of the wedding cake, hope is the sweetest of plums.

Marriage--a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

My Greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will so deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least.

please read also the other articles of Wedding Love Quotes

Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

I'm Not 40 i'm 18 with 22 years experience

Age is a number and mine is unlisted.

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.

Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can’t speak for my twin sister.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

After 30, a body has a mind of its own.

If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday’.

Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.

The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.

If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.

There is still no cure for the common birthday.

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.

To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.

My wife hasn’t had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of …………. Lord-only-knows

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.

Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years.

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.

Funny Love Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

Funny Love Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

Love teaches even asses to dance.
--French Proverb --

Love your enemies. It really pisses them off!

To infinite, ever present Love, all is Love,
and there is no error, no sin sickness, nor death.
--Mary Baker Eddy --

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship--never
--Charles Caleb Colton --

Sometimes I find myself making love to my own misfortune.
--Norma O. Abrego --

Put love first. Entertain thoughts that give life
And when a thought or resentment, or hurt, or fear
comes your way, have another thought that is more powerful
-- a thought that is love.
--Mary Manin Morrissey --

We must love one another or die
--W.H. Auden poem --

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
--Walt Disney --

Never sign a valentine with your own name.
--Charles Dickens --

Love: Two minds without a single thought.
--Philip Barry --

The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.

All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!
--Lucy Van Pelt --

Where does the family start ? It starts with a young man
falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found.
--Sir Winston Churchill --

Platonic love is like an inactive volcano.
--Andre Pevost --

If the universe has any purpose more important than
topping a woman you love and making a baby with her
hearty help, I have never heard of it.
--Rabert A. Henlein Lazarus Long --

Christianity has done a great deal for love by making a sin of it.
--Anatole France --

It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing.
It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving.
--Mother Teresa --

He who wants to do good knocks at the gate:
he who loves finds the door open.
--Rabrindranath Tagore --

Sometimes I find myself making love to my own misfortune.
--Norma O. Abrego --

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship--never
--Charles Caleb Colton --

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the
imagination and bottling the common sense.
--Helen Rowland --

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
--Mother Teresa --

One advantage of marriage It seems to me
Is that when you fall out of love with him
Or he falls out of love with you
It keeps you together until maybe you fall in again.
--Judith Viorst --

Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination
nor both together go to the making of genius.
Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
--Mozart --

Funny Quotes and Sayings

Funny Quotes and Sayings

A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
- Burt Bacharach

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
- Harry S. Truman

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
- Mark Twain

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns

I am an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
- Gabor

ARCHITECT is One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
- Ambrose Bierce

I either Get what I want or I change my mind.
- Anonymous

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
- Roseanne

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns

Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
- Anonymous

Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.
- Gary Busey

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain

I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
- George Carlin

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
- Robin Williams

A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
- George Eliot

I am short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
- Woody Allen

Sex was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
- Woody Allen

We need an energy bill that encourages consumption.
- George Bush