Funny Valentine's Day Quotes

Funny Valentine's Day Quotes

Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day ~ Jay Leno

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots ~ Hoosier Farmer

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to ~ Rita Rudner

Never go to bed mad -- stay up and fight ~ Phyllis Diller

No matter how love sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along ~ Joyce Brothers

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry ~ Oscar Wilde

The Eskimos have fifty two words for snow because it is so special to them; there ought to be as many for love ~ Margaret Atwood

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead ~ Ann Landers

Three things can't be hidden: coughing, poverty, and love ~ Yiddish Proverb

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia ~ H. L. Mencken

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked ~ Erich Segal

Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is ~ Anonymous

Women are cursed, and men are the proof ~ Rosanne Barr

Women with pasts interest men. They hope history will repeat itself ~ Mae West

A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting ~     Helen Rowland

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife ~ Groucho Marx

Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day ~ Mickey Rooney

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life ~ Rita Rudner

I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV ~ Tracy Smith

It is impossible to love and be wise ~ Francis Bacon

It’s funny how we set qualifications to the right person to love, when we know at the back of our heads the person whom we truly love will always be an exception ~ Ally McBeal

Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion ~ Mirabeau

Love is a grave mental disease ~ Plato

Lovers who share a sense of humor, stay together longer. Humor is the key to an evergreen relationship. If you want to win your lover's heart, use humor. With a dash of humor and love, make your day extra special with these funny Valentine's Day quotes, and readmore Valentines Day 2012 Sayings and Quotes

Source: http://quotations.about.com