T-Shirt Quotes and Sayings

T-Shirt Quotes and Sayings

Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.

All men are idiots And I married their king.

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

My Dog Can Lick Anyone.

Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

A day without sunshine is like night.

Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?

Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.

The trouble with life is there’s no background music.

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.

Always remember you’re unique… Just like everyone else.

I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

All men are idiots And I married their king.

In America Anyone Can Be President That’s One of the Risks You Take.

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway!

Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

I wear the brains in the family.

BEER It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS–But it uses up a thousand times the memory.

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

Whatever the questions is, Liquor Is The Answer

Your Boyfriend Thinks I’m Hot.

Weapons Of Mass Distraction.

This is my drinking shirt.

I can resist everything except temptation.

Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?

Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.

I don’t know what makes you dumb But it really works.

Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.

Us blondes aren’t dumb.

Wasted All The Time.

Life’s Too Short To Date Ugly Women.

Blonde and proud of it.

Don’t Annoy The Crazy Person.

Don’t make me call out my Flying Monkeys.

I’m with Stupid.

I don’t need no Educashun.

I’m the person your mother warned you about.

I’m not as dumb as you look..

No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway.

We should forgive our enemies, but only after they’ve been taken out and shot.

Never kick a man unless he’s down.

There is intelligent life on Earth, but I’m just visiting.

Work is the curse of the drinking class.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.

How can I love you if you won’t lie down ?

I wear the brains in the family.

There’s no future in time travel.

Put on your seat belt… I wanna try something.

Beat the 5 o’clock rush – Leave work at noon.

I’m not unemployed, I’m a consultant

I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.

I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.

Source: http://www.coolnsmart.com/tshirt_quotes/

Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent ? That’s why I never take baths.

A man in the house is worth two in the street.

A genius is a man who can rewrap a new shirt and not have any pins left over.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his chest.

Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.

Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.

I only like two kinds of men, domestic and foreign.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

Man has will, but woman has her way.

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Women don’t make fools of men most of them are the “do-it-yourself” types.

Men are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time…they’re gone.

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.

Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he’s in love with her.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they’re both on fire – they’re exactly alike.

All modern men are descended from a worm-like creature, but it shows more on some people.

There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base.

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. “Women marry men with the hope they will change. “And they are both disappointed.”

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.

Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.

Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’.

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.

Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles

If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ – they leave skid marks.

There are three stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus; he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work or prison.

Friendship Quotes and Sayings

Friendship Quotes and Sayings

Friendship is love without his wings!
- Lord Byron

Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows.

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
- Euripides

When you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life.

True friendship is when two friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side.

If I had to sum up friendship in one word, it would be comfort.
- Terri Guillemets

Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still like you.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell

True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton

Everyone is a friend, until they prove otherwise.

Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life.

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.
- Aristotle

To be depressed is to be lonely; to have a friend is to be happy.

Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.

Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart.

In my friend, I find a second self.
- Isabel Norton

Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you.

Your friends are what will matter in the end.

A friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be somewhere else.

Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty.

The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.
- Abraham Lincoln

Friends are God’s way of taking care of us.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.

Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things.

A road to a friend’s house is never long.

I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.
- Ann Richards

Count your age with friends but not with years.

One who looks for a friend without faults will have none.

A true friend sticks with you through thick and thin no matter what.

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

An honest answer is the sign of true friendship.

When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
- Edgar Watson Howe

Facebook Status Quotes

Facebook Status Quotes

Cleo really wishes she could but, I’m attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.

Linda notices that nobody ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.

Lauren lives vicariously… through herself.

Neal is nealing the neally neal with the help of his close neal.

Liz is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

Sandy really wishes she could but, My panty hose sprung a leak.

Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.

Sonia has found love in facebook. She is from Bangladesh and “vhan day vill reesh amehica”.

Claire is disturbed by abominable quadrupeds.

Sara couldn’t myself have better it said.

James is for external use only. See your doctor before administering.

Erick is a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.

Jay feels ashamed of his smoking but it’s better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.

Jack will update his Facebook status for money!

Ruby says it’s been a business doing pleasure with you.

Ian just found out that they took the word “gullible” out of the dictionary!

James is going to borrow money from a pessimist. They don’t expect to be paid back.

Rob is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?

Jolene understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.

I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now.

I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.

Who says I’m not in shape? Round’s a shape, isn’t it?

I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.

My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.

47% of all statistics are worthless.

Sometimes I wish life had subtitles (and in a big font)!

I’m cle’a[ni.ng m'y' ke]yb36oa;rd.

James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.

Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! I’m better at it.

Steven is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that Steven may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if Steven is right for you.

Josh thinks that if your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”

Jessie took the “Are you spending too much time on Facebook” quiz and the result is “No – You should spend much more time”. Jessie shot the computer.

Sad Quotes and Sayings

Sad Quotes and Sayings

They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

Behind my smile is everything you’ll never understand.

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, It might have been.

There’s nothing more depressing than having it all and still feeling sad.

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.

I had rather have a fool make me merry, than experience make me sad.

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.

We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.

Sadness flies away on the wings of time.
- Jean de La Fontaine

I didn’t want to admit it. It was easier to lie. Hide the hurt and emptiness to smile instead of cry.

A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.

I don’t know if I’m getting better or just used to the pain.

The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy.

We ask God to forgive us for our evil thoughts and evil temper, but rarely, if ever ask Him to forgive us for our sadness.

You can choose to be happy or sad and whichever you choose that is what you get. No one is really responsible to make someone else happy, no matter what most people have been taught and accept as true.

You’ll just never know…so many emotions I choose not to show.

Usually when people are sad, they don’t do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.

Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts the most.

Dying seems less sad than having lived too little.

However long the night, the dawn will break.

Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad.

Best Friend Quotes and Sayings

Best Friend Quotes and Sayings

One who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.

A friend is a gift one give oneself.

- Robert Louis Stevenson

Good friends are like stars…. You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.

My best friend is the one who brings out the best of me.

- Henry Ford

The medicine of life is to have true faithful friends.

True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.

A best friend can tell you things you don’t want to tell yourself.

Lots of your friends want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

- Oprah Winfrey

The best mirror in the world is an old friend.

A true friend is someone you can disagree with and still remain friends.If not, they weren’t true friends in the first place.

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.

A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should.

True friends are very difficult to find, hard to leave, and impossible to forget.

A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Hold a true friend with both your hands.

A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.

- Jim Morrison

When you look around and your world is crumbling or when you think no one loves you, your best friend is the one to run to you.

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say.

A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half cracked.

Thick and thin, tall and small, fast and slow. Tell me who is always there for you. I am sure you know. Your best friend, of course, don’t let him or her go

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walk out.

- Walter Winchell

A best friend shares the good times and help you out by listening during the bad times.

One’s best friend is oneself.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

- Bernard Meltzer

Best friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.

- Elbert Hubbard

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

- Anais Nin

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.

Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn’t jump with them, I’d be at the bottom to catch them.

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.

- John Leonard

There is nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the love of friends.

Happy Valentine's Day Wallpaper

 

 

 

 

 

 

happy valentine's day friends

Valentines day text messages

Here is my heart, it is yours so take it, Treat it gently, please do not break it. Its full of love thats good and true, So please keep it always close to u.
 




My heart for you will never break. My smile for you will never fade. My love for you will never end. I love you!
 



Love so much my heart is sure. As time goes on I love you more, Your happy smile. Your loving face no one will ever take your place. Wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day!
* If Roses were black and violets were brown, my love for you would never be found but roses r red and violets are blue, all I want to say is I LUV U!
   


Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.
 



Love has its ups and downs, its twists and turns. Love leaves you pain, teaches u until you learn and even if love takes so long, it always takes you to where you belong.
 



The most important things are the hardest to say because words diminish them. Forever yours…your Valentine.
 



Sometimes we make love with our eyes. Sometimes we make love with our hands. Sometimes we make love with our bodies. Always we make love with our hearts.
 



Valentine’s Day is for expressing affection. Fond thoughts are coming ur way. We’ve always had a special connection. So Happy Valentine’s Day!